Season Two: The Fellowship Strikes Back

After a layoff that seemed to last longer than a chorus in a Sting song, the West End Horseshoe League is back with a vengeance for a much anticipated second season.  What does this mean to players and spectators?  More ringers.  More leaners.  More urine tagging.  More fellowship.  More dill.  More America.

Dave looks to the skies as he publicly urinates.

A couple of new additions have been made to the league this year which promise to add quality and accuracy to the matches.  The first addition came in the form of a Christmas present from reigning MVP Nick Swanson.  Examining the fairly heavy and well-wrapped gift sent several visions dancing through my mind.  What could this mysterious gift be?  Bulk condoms?  A set of mildly-offensive novelty t-shirts?  Spinal Tap box set?  It turned out to be even better:  a new set of officially sanctioned horseshoes.  The new Bandit brand shoes ensure that both sets of shoes are equally balanced weighed.

Scorekeeping has also seen a long-overdue upgrade.  Dutes' girlfriend, and noted Microsoft Office buff Kaitlyn has offered to be the official WEHL scorekeeper for the season.  Words can't describe how great it is to no longer have ederly men struggling to keep up with the red-hot action.  Accuracy improved.

One the league's best pastimes in its first season had to be urine tagging.  For those of you not from the west end, urine tagging consists of removing your dong from your pants and creating a beautiful work of art on the wooden fence.  As an artist uses oil on canvas, league members use urine on treated lumber.  Last years works were very nice, but holy shit!  This year's quality went from Bob Ross to Pablo Picasso.  Here are the first two works of art in the young season:

"Eat a dick" - Jim Swanson - 2012

"Nick Swanson!!!!!" - Nick Swanson - 2012

Could Nick pull the unthinkable and take home Most Valuable Player AND Most Valuable Urinator awards in the same season?  Time will tell, but this masterpiece is going to be nearly impossible to beat.

On the shoe-throwing front, Week 1 provided an absolutely thrilling Championship game.  E and newcomer Tim "Point Machine" Sweet faced off against Big A and Jim.  The condor had been soaring all night, and after opening a 8-0 lead, many thought this match might be over quickly.  However, Jim and Adam stormed back to tie the match at 10-10; setting off a see-saw affair.  E and Tim Sweet ended the drama late and pulled out the 21-19 win.  They claim the week one title and receive dibs on the first winners' photo of the season.

Week 1 Champs.  (Check out Dave)

Power Rankings:

1.  Adam Roll
2.  Erik Roll
3.  Jim Swanson
4.  Tim Sweet
5.  Dave Roll


Hundley Award:  Greg Dutra
5 games, 4 losses, 14 points.  Step it up brah.

Best Newcomer:  Tim Sweet
Free from the chains of parenthood for once, Tim Sweet took the league by storm.  One must wonder if he will be able to keep it up.  He will be a marked man from now on.


Overheard:
"We might have to have a beat off."  - Nick Swanson
"That's a lot of piss."  - Kaitlyn


Week 2 BOLD Predicitons:
1.  Condor soars early, crashes late.
2.  Kolar arrives, no beer.
3.  Tom Swanson says "Ringer time, partner!" at least three times.