Week 9 began as most league weeks do: a few people stroll through the gate, a few more, then a few meaningless games until the majority of people arrive. Then something happened that the Gods didn't even see coming. With six players already two games deep into league play, the gate opened once more. Matt Roll walked through first to the casual indifference of league members; but then Matt's silhouette slid forward to reveal the unthinkable:
New York Knights right fielder Roy Hobbs.
Who was this mysterious shoe thrower who rumors claim had out-ringered the Bambino in a pick-up game several years earlier? What was his story? Where did he come from? Why did he smell like high-grade cheese?
Hobbs, unknown to the league, was thrown to the fire immediately by way of having to compete against Week 8 champs Tom and Dave. His demeanor protruded an air of quiet confidence. Casually and confidently, he reached into his bag and pulled out a seemingly magical horseshoe that appeared to be hand-inscribed with the word "Wonderboy". We would later learn that this horseshoe was hand-welded from a flag pole that was struck by lightning. Hobbs' arm immediately was a source of what can only be described as pure magic. Point after point. Ringer after ringer. Victory after victory. The league had not seen anything like this in its brief history. A 2-0 start, six ringers and five Modelos cemented the short-lived legacy of Hobbs.
The magic of Wonderboy slowed, and Hobbs' identity was revealed to be that of Jerry Wieser. Wisconsin native, Packer fan, new Grandpa. Hell of a debut. Bobby Savoy would have been proud.
In other league news, a notable game found Tom and Dave getting pointed to death by E and Adam. Eleven points. Zero ringers. Total humiliation for the old men.
Urine tagging was again prevalent, and a new standard has been set. Feast your eyes on "Dill", painted by Jim Swanson.
2011™ - West End Horseshoe League
No league week could be complete without an ample supply of dill, and this week set the bar very high. Two full bags were available for league consumption. With the league's refusal to test for performance-enhancing dill, members indulged like never before. Lucky Joe Kelly led the charge with his multiple dill tastings getting larger and larger each time. Jim Swanson tried to one-up the Whopper loving league member by dumping an absurd amount of dill seeds into his mouth. The dill content soon proved to be too much as evidenced by the pints of saliva being profusely ejected from his mouth. Dill crash carts were on site, but thankfully were not required.
Week 9 champs. Swanson, Tom and Swanson, Jim.
11-2 beat down of Nick and Matt.
Bold prediciton recap:
"1. Condor nets three ringers." Way off the mark here. E struggled mightily and ended up with a goose end in the ringer department.
"2. Jim Swanson leads the league in points." ..aaaaaand Boom goes the Dynamite. Right on point with this one.
"3. Kolar brings beer." Probably the most unlikely, but it happened. Wow.
Awards:
Hundley Award: Erik Roll. Six games. One win. 20 points.
Biggest complainer(s): Tie. Nick and E. "Stop throwing peanut shells in front of the pits!"
Biggest surprise: Hobbs. Duh.
Earliest bathroom user: Tom Swanson. About 4:43pm.
Week 10 callouts: Big Mage, Asay, Al Sweet.
Week 10 BOLD PREDICTIONS:
1) Dave Roll nets two tumblin' dice ringers.
2) Condor nets one ringer.
3) Joe Kelly tags "R.Frantz" on the fence.
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