Week 7

Shoes were thrown under the lights for the first time in league history.  Ladies night helped swell the attendance to a record number of 20.  Snacks were had, fellowship was shared, and mass quantities of beer were consumed. 

It wasn't all fun and games though, as there was some late night controversy to be had.  Having secured the top two captains positions for the championship match, E took Adam as his partner.  Tom, unbelievably, bypassed red hot Dave Roll in favor of a 1-9 Nick Swanson.  Tom and Nick eventually won.  Do we have our first horseshoe feud?

Hundley Award:  Nick Swanson.   Even a title win couldn't cover up his awful play.

Most bitter:  Dave Roll.  Likely still furious; was heard using the word "boycott" late in the night.

Highest shoe throwing:  Condor.  The fucking MOON was getting nervous.

Most popular bathroom:  WEHL Bathroom 3.

Dutra's forecast was horseshit for today.  Let's hope the pits dry out enough.  Week 8 brah!

Week 6

An absolutely enthralling Week 6 is in the books, and it was a week of firsts. 'Lucky' Joe Kelly made the championship game and won in dramatic fashion.  Needing three points to clinch the championship and only an open pit in his way, Joe's first shoe opened up perfectly, only to be mere inches short of the clinching ringer.  Channeling his inner Whopper™ hunger, Joe dug deep, released his second shoe, and tapped the shoe in question past the stake for a championship-clinching ringer.  The crowd went wild, ending what most would say was the pinnacle of WEHL thus far.


Matthew Roll was given the dreaded Hundley Award for sub-par play after last weeks 0-6 performance.  This definitely served as motivation as Matt turned in a performance for the ages racking up three wins en route to a first ever championship invite.


Matt Magers delivered on his promise and made his first appearance of the year. After much talk about his horseshoe skill and roughly 30 minutes of practice time before the first game, he dropped an egg, scoring only five points over four games.


Matt Kolar was the unfortunate beneficiary of a league-first "dong burger" after an errant shoe struck him in the genitals.


Nick Swanson is still murdering the rest of the league with yet another championship. 


Hungry Lucky Joe Kelly's dad Jim Kelly even showed up.



Week 6 MVP:  Joe Kelly


Hundley Award:  Matt Magers


Most Improved Player:  Matt Roll


Mr.  Irrelevant:  Erik Roll (Condor needs to soar again)


Joke of the week:  "What are you guys playing to?  35?"  (Overused)


Injury Report:
Tom Swanson -- Foot burger, shin burger -- probable for week 7.
Jim Swanson -- Fire burger(finger)  First bonfire mishap -- probable for week 7.
Kolar -- Dong burger -- questionable for week 7.


BUT.  The HUGE news of the week was the attendance.  Player turnout reached an all time high of eleven.  That leads us to possibly the greatest moment of Earthly cultural significance next Thursday.  In chronological order: 

#1:  Man creates fire

#2:  Egyptians build the pyramids

#3:  Benjamin Franklin discovers electricity

#4:  Man lands on the moon

#5:  The fall of the Berlin wall

...

...and coming next Thursday to the West End Horseshoe 

League:

HORSESHOES UNDER THE LIGHTS!

This is going to be an event that possibly changes the course of human history.  To celebrate this rare occasion, we will be having a one-time-only "Ladies Night".  

Bring your wife/girlfriend/coitus-buddy to the league next week.  Along with the usual beverages, feel free to bring a small snack.  It can be something as small as Dill Pickle Sunflower Seeds (Week 7 dill testing will be bypassed) to something as large as chips and a dip.


It's going to be special.  Tell your friends.  Tell your enemies.  Shit.  Tell Rick Frantz for all I care.  Whatever you do, just make sure to tell them the league motto:


"If you ain't playin' West End Horseshoes, YOU AIN'T SHIT."


See y'all next week.  It's gonna be epic.

Week 5

Nick Swanson once again dominating and is cementing his position as best thrower in the league.  His 59 points and 15 ringers far and away led the league in week 5.  Nick shared the week 5 championship with his brother Jim, further advancing the Swanson legacy.  Eight players turned out this week, an increase of two from last week.   This influx could be a sign of things to come, as rumors are running rampant that several new players will make their debut in week 6.  Among them:  Jim Kelly, Matt Magers, and a yet unnamed special guest.  Next week promises to be the best week yet.  The action is guaranteed to be at a frenetic pace, as sunlight is dissipating at a rate of 21 minutes per week.  The only way to guarantee the addition of artificial light is increased attendance.  Spread the word.  Now to this week's awards.

Most Dominant:
Nick Swanson

Most Inept:
Dave Roll -- 24 points in seven games.  Really dropping off after a strong start.

Biggest Redemption:
"Lucky" Joe Kelly -- Tired of being the laughing stock of the league, Joe completely switched his horseshoe throwing form and reaped the benefits.  He netted seven ringers and could make a late season push to escape mediocrity.

Hundley Award:
Matt Roll -- Zero wins, Six losses, 22 points.  Ouch.

Injury Report:
Adam Roll - (Toe Burger) -- Probable for week 6.

Week 4

Week 4 Champs: Nick and Tom Swanson

The heat was intense. Lowest player turn out yet, but possibly the best action of the season. Nick Swanson absolutely dominated. Dave Roll buckled under the pressure of "best league player" and dropped an egg. Lucky Joe Kelly sucked, got lucky, and sucked again. Tom Swanson continued his ringer holocaust. Jim Swanson managed to avoid burgers of all kinds; cheese, ankle and shin alike. Erik Roll's condor soared but missed its prey. Morgan Ottier made a late night appearance. Stats to be determined, but it looks like several categories may have new leaders. And as always: If you ain't playing West End Horseshoe League, YOU AIN'T SHIT.

Most Disappointing: Dave Roll

Worst Player: Joe Kelly

Captain Ringer: Tom Swanson

Injury Report: None

Shooting Star: Nick Swanson

Old Reliable: Tom Swanson

Biggest No-Show: Al Sweet

Biggest Coward: Adam Roll

Power Rankings (Points/Game):

1. Nick Swanson 6.00

2. Tom Swanson 5.84

3. Dave Roll 5.04

4. Jim Swanson 4.91

5. Adam Roll 4.36

Total Ringers:

1. Tom Swanson 30

2. Jim Swanson 28

3. Dave Roll 25

4. Nick Swanson 23

5. Adam Roll 12

Win %:

1. Nick Swanson 80.77% - WOW

2. Dave Roll 60.71%

3. Matt Roll 54.55%

4. Jim Swanson 48.48%

4. Erik Roll 48.48%